You're fat! You know about it?!
06/03/2020
I knew it all my life I had a big weight problem. I've always been shocked at how people feel that it's something you don't even know about, and if they weren't tell you, you might not even figure it out.

I don't know if you can imagine what it will do to the human mind. I've always prepared in my mind how to react to it, but at that moment you will simply lose your voice. At that moment, it didn't matter who I was, what I achieved in life, what I managed and won, everything was gone.
The only thing that shone in the man's eyes, and what's worse in mine also, was how much I failed, and only because it's the only failure you see at first sight. It's like walking with a scarlet letter on your dress and waiting for another inquisitor to appear just to judge you.
And maybe he achieved a lot less and failed a lot more in life. It does not matter. You lost ahead. It is simply not accepted.
In order to cope with such a psychological burden, we are creating copy mechanisms. We use them as a shield to be able to get out of bed. But it often hurts even more.

The simplest mechanism is to ignore the problem. I just pretend it doesn't exist. I will completely suppress it until one day it overwhelms me so that I have to seek professional help at best scenario.
Another mechanism, again very dangerous, is that you pretend, that you don't care at all, you make a public joke about it, and at the same time a vibration of pain radiates from you. Do you think that you can hide it in front of you for laughter? You can't. It won't go away just because you pretend you don't care.
Then we have a strategy where someone else or circumstances are always to blame. Genetics, thyroid, hormones, drugs. You can't lose weight because it's expensive, you don't have time, you don't have help, you can't handle it at work, something hurts you and that's why you can't exercise and blah blah blah. An infinite number of excuses that you use mainly in front of yourself.
There is undoubtedly an infinite number of them. They work. Temporarily.
